Why is dancing in movies the ONE time the ghetto has unusually high standards? It doesn't make sense. Oh, and also, dancing isn't a job. Nor is it a sport. It's just a thing that's sometimes fun that you can do to pass the time. And sure as shit don't do it on the goddamn sidewalk. It's called a sideWALK not a sideDANCE.
465 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 15 - Bicycles
I envision a bike-free future. A world where the cycles of bi are a thing of the past. A world where our children are free to walk along the sidewalk without fear of hearing someone scream "on your left" as they blow by, grazing their arms and leaving them with a graphic shot of their assholes as they speed off. A world where our drunk drivers fear not of hitting a guy on a bicycle that is riding on the road, obeying none of the traffic laws. A world without Lance Armstrong and all the bullshit baggage that's attached to that sack of shit.
461 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 11 - Cowboy Hats
Fuck cowboy hats. And boots. And music. And life. End it. Or not. I guess it's really not that big of a deal.
463 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 13 - 'New And Improved'
Pick one, you dicks. It can't be both.
462 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 12 - Full Body Painting
Well it's football season. Or it was. Or it will be. Either way, time for the NFC North fans to paint their guts and start screaming for their terrible teams. This is coming from a Vikings fan, mind you. Do. Not. Paint. Your. Full. Body. For. Football. Or. Any. Other. Reason. Other. Than. To. Trick. Zombies. Into. Thinking. You're. Also. A. Zombie.
460 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 10 - Casinos
Want to throw your money in the garbage but want to add some flair to it? Then a casino is for you. Go ahead, waste your hard-earned money on that shit.
447 - LIW Westworld Review - 11 - The Well-Tampered Clavier (109)
After over 7 months off, Phoenix is back to finish up season 1 of Westworld. The robots are starting to become self aware, Ford's plans are starting to become aware to us, Dolores is still following voices like an insane person, William is doing everything he can to save the vagina he thinks he loves. Anyway, only 1 more episode of the season and it's all ramping up.
448 - LIW Westworld Review - 12 - The Bicameral Mind (110)
It all comes to an end here in this episode. Well, not really. In fact, it's all starting at the end of this episode. They have to leave you wanting something for season 2 right? Anyway, we finally find out what's at the end of the maze and it's just.... doesn't really matter. We finally find out what's going on with William and MIB. We finally get finality in a final and closing way, finally.
459 - LIW The Walking Dead Review - 106 - The Walking Dead - 804 - Some Guy
Mutant zombies are stupid. Now that that's out of the way, this episode wasn't bad. It had some really good stuff in it. I mean it. Seeing Ezekiel drop the act was fascinating. The actor killed it. Not an amazing episode but they finally did what I've been requesting for a long time: they had emotional scenes with a character that actually resulted in me feeling differently about the character. Seriously, awesome job. Now do that with Daryl so I actually give a shit if he lives or dies.
458 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 33 - Great Again (711)
Another season of AHS has come to an end and for the first time in several years, I'm sad. This season was fucking great and I say that with confidence. I figure it's only fair that I shit on it when it's bad, I should proclaim my love when it's great. Can we somehow give Evan Peters an Oscar for a TV show? Let's make it happen. Let's make the Oscars great again. It feels weird to be this positive in a podcast description. It's making me feel funny.
456 - The Podcasts Podcast - 2 - Alien Podcasts
Phoenix West and Frank Linkz reviewed random alien podcasts and had a riot making fun of them. They tried to say at least one nice thing about each show before tearing them apart. The shows they listened to are:
Hysteria 51: Pyramids Of Giza - Egyptian Tombs Or Alien Gas Stations https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pyramids-of-giza-egyptian-tombs-or-alien-gas-stations-59/id1156724104?i=1000394451408&mt=2
The Alien Invasion - Walking Dead UFO and Travis Walton rescued by ET https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/walking-dead-ufo-travis-walton-rescued-by-et-alien/id456439427?i=1000382079751&mt=2
Beyond The Darkness - UFO's Today: 70 Years of Lies, Misinformation & Government Cover-Up https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ufos-today-70-years-lies-misinformation-government/id1185048025?i=1000392480279&mt=2
457 - The Podcasts Podcast - 3 - Podcast Homework For Episode 4
Here be the podcasts we are reviewing in episode 4 of this classy program. It was Frank's turn to pick the shows and he picked something one of the guys in the alien podcasts discussed at length: board games. So... with much reluctance, we will force ourselves into listening to people talk about board games. Something that isn't even fun when you're playing the actual game, let alone listening to people play them and talk about them without visuals.
Epic Gaming Night - Ep 91 Board Games & Chill https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-91-board-games-chill/id992694797?i=1000380694687&mt=2
The Married With Board Games Podcast - MWBG #29 Stop Cheating You Cheater! https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/mwbg-29-stop-cheating-you-cheater/id1151914816?i=1000394280685&mt=2
Adventure Party - International Table Top Day Adventure Party #47 https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/international-table-top-day-adventure-party-47/id975303170?i=1000380836168&mt=2
455 - LIW The Twilight Zone Review - 61 - The Silence (TZ 225)
This episode will turn you to soup. You can eat that soup in your man zoo for a bunch of crusty, old, white men to stare at while you don't speak for a year. Somehow this is an amazing episode. Seriously.
454 - LIW The Twilight Zone Review - 60 - The Rip Van Winkle Caper (TZ 224)
Stealing money and essentially time traveling to the future is a stupid idea. Guess these guys never heard of inflation. Also if you have the technology to use gases to keep yourself alive for 100 years in a glass casket....just sell your idea and avoid robbing trains.
453 - LIW The Walking Dead Review - 105 - The Walking Dead - 803 - Monsters
Write something for Daryl please. He's just turned into a sweaty, hairy guy that grunts out one line per episode now. Seriously, you could kill his character off right now and I wouldn't even care. I want to care. I want to like Daryl but having him kill two people without a care in the world just makes me think he actually should be dead. He's a... monster.
452 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 32 - Charles (Manson) In Charge (710)
All In The (Manson) Family. (Manson) Family Ties. (Manson) Family Guy. (Manson) Family Matters. (Manson) Family Feud. (Manson) Family Man.
450 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 30 - Winter Of Our Discontent (708)
Remember that movie series Saw? So does American Horror Story. Ever been to a haunted house? So has American Horror Story.
449 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 29 - Valerie Solanis Died For Your Sins Scumbag (707)
Thank you for reading this podcast description. If you are a woman then you are a magical creature. If you are a man... how dare you read this you SCUM? You turd. You scummy turd. Valerie Solanis is coming for you. Well, not anymore because she died for your sins. So you're welcome. Or something like that. It doesn't really make sense.
451 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 31 - Drink The Kool-Aid (709)
Whenever I get together with friends we play the "drink poison Kool-Aid out of a small paper cup and see who is willing to die for me but only to have it turn out to be regular Kool-Aid" game. It's a lot of fun.
446 - LIW The Walking Dead Review - 104 - The Walking Dead - 802 - The Damned
Two episodes into season 8 and we already have an episode that is completely pointless. Seriously, nothing in this episode matters. If you went straight from 801 to 803, it would be the same. Anyway, welcome Morales back to the show. I know you all missed him so much. Remember...he's the guy that fled with his family at the tail end of season 1. Well, he's back so deal with it.